Author: Ruth Subject: Fred on Everything Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 4:42 pm (GMT 0) Topic Replies: 0
Let me introduce you to one of my favorite vices: Fred on Everything
Fred Throws Sombrero in Ring The Only Thing We Have to be A-Fred of is Fred Hisself
October 25, 2012
I see that I shall have to take over the helm of the country to save it from the impending collapse. It has come to this. I have always said that I would undertake the presidency only under an assumed name—who would want that on his resumè?—but noblesse oblges. What could be nobler than this column?
You may say, “But Fred, how can you be so bloody arrogant as to think you can run the country?” To which I reply, “We know that the incumbents cannot. I may be able to. In any event, I couldn’t be worse: I have not that talent. Which do you prefer, assured disaster or a sporting chance?”
Apparently the key to a successful campaign is a bumper sticker of supernal stupidity and irrelevance. I can play that game. How about “A Fred in Every Pot.” Or Tippecanoe and Frederick Too.” Or “Better Fred than Dead.” Or "Fred...Ahhhh." Or, most pertinently, ”Well, Have You Got a Better Idea?”
It is my understanding that as a candidate, I need a platform. I think this means a pack of rhythmically mendacious platitudes that would put a crank freak to sleep. I shall try to do better. The following appear to me serviceable:
“Defense” policy: We don’t have one. The last time the military defended the United States was 1945—the United States, remember, being that place between Canada and Mexico, a region that does not include (recent graduates, check your atlas) Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia, Albania, Yugoslavia, Panama, Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Somalia, Iran, Nigeria, or Yemen.
Do not misunderstand me. I am as patriotic as the next guy, and consequently happy to kill remote strangers for no reason, and their wives, children, dogs, and flcoks. Unfortunately, we can no longer afford it. Do you know what bombs cost these days? Thus we must either find a cheaper means of terminating Afghan children, perhaps by poisoning, or else, on purely economic grounds, we must restrain the Pentagon’s appetites.
Therefore, under my administration all military officers will be required to wear pink tutus, toe shoes, and brassieres with expandable boob compartments. This will discourage history majors in arrested development from becoming lieutenants and strutting around like Genghis Kahn simulacra. An army of ballerinas will be much less troublesome.
With each promotion officers will get larger inserts of high-density silicone, so that they get back trouble and retire. David Petraeus will be instantly issued an udder.
Is this not genius?
Further, all pilots of military helicopters will be required to go into combat with their children strapped to the skids. This will calm martial enthusiasm. (I was going to use the pilots’ wives, but on reflection realized that this might lead to an insatiable thirst for war.)
Education policy: I will institute schools. This will be a novel concept in a nation accustomed to day-care centers intended to keep the young off the labor market, introduce them to drugs the purchase of which sustains the Mexican economy, and, so as to prepare them for jobs in odious bureaucracies, inure them to levels of boredom that would cause a stone post to crumble.
To this end I will put a bounty on education theorists, offer taxidermy at public expense, and convert teachers colleges into repositories for radioactive waste (Wait: They might mutate. The consequences could be incalculable. I’ll have to think this over carefully). The schools will teach reading (phonetically) writing (grammatically) and arithmetic (without calculators). Otherwise their entire staffs will be fed to colonies of army ants. Brazil has lots.
I am replete with ideas for scholarly progress and social improvement. For example, any student who curses or assaults a teacher will be expelled, instantly and forever. (“But Fred,” you say, “The poor things, they will end up in prison.” Exactly. They would anyway. Let’s get them started. Think of it as advanced placement. We could call it Head Start.)
Next, I will end affirmative action, specifically to include the admission to Ivy schools of dull-witted white legacies. This admirable policy would have protected us from Bush II, who on his merits couldn’t have gotten into Yale with burglar tools. It will make the federal bureaucracy functional again. Everything will be done without regard for race, creed, color, sex, or national origin, except cheese-cake photography. The underlying principle is the recognition that if you hire people because they can’t do a job, they won’t.
TSA: I am told that in Africa there are enormous silver-backed gorillas that can crush a coconut one-handed. I will station one of these at every airport gate in the country after suitable training. After an employee of TSA gropes a passenger, the gorilla will grope the TSA employee. This will doubtless result in a degree of attrition and, one hopes, frequent emasculation. Those who stay on the job will work naked to promote a sense of oneness with the public.
Moreover, I intend to institute the National Sausage Act, requiring that all other officials of Homeland Security be passed through a large industrial grinder. They will then be packed into sausage skins before being fed to undiscriminating sharks. This promise alone should result in my election by a grateful nation.
The first into the hopper will be that awful woman who records the airport warnings in that condescending almost gurgling elocution-major voice that sounds as if she wants to suck the microphone. There are limits to what we can bear. Well, there ought to be.
Next, I will have members of Congress officially designated as ducks by the National Park Service. States vary as to when duck season opens, but this is a matter of States rights. For a small license fee in the capital itself, citizens will be permitted to erect duck blinds along Pennsylvania Avenue. I imagine the use of duck calls which will squawk, “Quaaack Pork, graft, corruption, little boys awwwk!”
God I’m good.
Next, marriage. We now have a situation in which heterosexuals believe that marriage exists to produce children, while homosexuals pursue their own ends. (Actually they pursue each other’s ends, but never mind.) As president of all Americans, I cannot discriminate. It seems to me that I must either outlaw all marriage entirely by executive order, or allow to all citizens the creativity that has made this country great.
I will thus allow same-sex marriage, as well as polygamy, on the principle that the state has no place in the bedroom. Combining same-sex marriage with polygamy, I imagine whole matrimonial platoons, with a sense of community and perhaps ID cards. In fact, I see no constitutional barrier to marriage between species. Why should a man not marry Fido? It is a question of individual conscience. We could introduce children to non-judgemental attitudes with books called “Mommy Says Moooo.”
Author: Rick James Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 3:54 pm (GMT 0) Topic Replies: 4
I know it's not pretty on the outside, XD but I didn't make it for that. My plan was to make it pack a punch; I tried to give it like some kind of equivalent of alike an old Rocky Balboa personality, I think. It was fun, nevertheless, but I think I added too much metal, and too mangy crystals in such a small space.I also think I misplaced the quartz point sideways. and when I held with my palm touching the side, it started vibrating a lot, like sometimes when I touch a crystal. Either this is a sledge hammer, or a sludge hammer.
________________ "We put you to war with the only enemy that ever existed, and you, you think he's your best friend. Embrace the pain Jake, and you will win this game." " You ain't me." - Revolver (2005) quoting actors Andre 3000 and Jason Statham, respectively.
Author: Rick James Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 3:52 pm (GMT 0) Topic Replies: 4
Rick James wrote:
I know it's not pretty on the outside, XD but I didn't make it for that. My plan was to make it pack a punch; I tried to give it like some kind of equivalent of alike an old Rocky Balboa personality, I think. It was fun, nevertheless, but I think I added too much metal, and too mangy crystals in such a small space.I also think I misplaced the quartz point sideways. and when I held with my palm touching the side, it started vibrating a lot, like sometimes when I touch a crystal. Either this is a sledge hammer, or a sludge hammer.
Ok, I correct myself, either way, it's a hammer. ha ooh! Thanks for the photo Sensei. Have a nice day everyone.
________________ "We put you to war with the only enemy that ever existed, and you, you think he's your best friend. Embrace the pain Jake, and you will win this game." " You ain't me." - Revolver (2005) quoting actors Andre 3000 and Jason Statham, respectively.
Author: Rick James Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 3:41 pm (GMT 0) Topic Replies: 4
I know it's not pretty on the outside, XD but I didn't make it for that. My plan was to make it pack a punch; I tried to give it like some kind of equivalent of alike an old Rocky Balboa personality, I think. It was fun, nevertheless, but I think I added too much metal, and too mangy crystals in such a small space.I also think I misplaced the quartz point sideways. and when I held with my palm touching the side, it started vibrating a lot, like sometimes when I touch a crystal. Either this is a sledge hammer, or a sludge hammer.
________________ "We put you to war with the only enemy that ever existed, and you, you think he's your best friend. Embrace the pain Jake, and you will win this game." " You ain't me." - Revolver (2005) quoting actors Andre 3000 and Jason Statham, respectively.
Author: Rick James Subject: my first one I ever made. 8-) Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 3:10 pm (GMT 0) Topic Replies: 4
I made it yesterday - Clear polyester resin, finely cut brass shavings, a natural cut single terminated quartz crystal, some 3-4 tumbled clear quartz crystals, a little bit of blue kyanite, some 3-4 small citrine crystals, some crushed pyrite, and finally, a magnetic hematite spherical marble I bought in a Mexico city gift shop. I realized, I put in a lot of stuff. But I wanted to see how well it worked and to learn from any mistakes, and troubleshoot a little. I felt like being an entrepreneur; I took some out of my rock collection so I am not giving this one away, for a while. May anyone tell me what you think? If you want any more photos, feel free to ask! :p
________________ "We put you to war with the only enemy that ever existed, and you, you think he's your best friend. Embrace the pain Jake, and you will win this game." " You ain't me." - Revolver (2005) quoting actors Andre 3000 and Jason Statham, respectively.
Years ago I stopped by a classic little country store in a small town in Arkansas, and while I there a troop of gypsies came banging in and basically shoplifted the hell out of the place. They created massive pandemonium to divert the attention of the poor little old man behind the counter and then just started pocketing anything that wasn't nailed down. I got the hell out of there as I began to wonder if they would shoplift me. Don't get me wrong - I have always dug the gypsies, but as the saying goes you want them on your side and not agin ya'.
The energy is so clean and clear that it can be easy to miss, but it will align you in many different ways and eventually smooth you out. Here is something I like to do - point it at that area just above the heart and spiral it with your hands. I also do that pointing at the 3rd eye area on the forehead. The general lore of crystal heads warns you not to point these at your head, but the energy is so smooth and ordered that I do it anyway, and pointing it at your forehead makes you realize just how powerful a Vogel really is. It will really light up various chakras but in a balanced and gentle way. I guess you already know the hand trick? Hold it in one hand and aim it at the palm of the other hand moving the crystal in a spiral, and also back and forth. You will feel this beam of energy moving with the crystal's motion across your fingers. I did not realize how powerful quartz really is until using a Vogel.
Another nice thing to do with it - hold it above your with the point facing to the heavens. The energy will flow up and down the spinal column and straighten you out a bit. Another thing to do - lie down on the floor and place the point on a book above your head in such a manner that it is shooting its energy up and down the spinal column and head again, and then just lie there for awhile and let it do it do its thing. I quit drinking alcohol 22 years ago, but I can sort of remember it, and the analogy between the energy of a Vogel and fine, aged whisky is apt. It is smoother with fewer impediments to its energy.
Author: StonedTree Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 10:03 am (GMT 0) Topic Replies: 9
Thank you! Happy to have found you all!
I used glass molds for those home orgonites, and for the BC a plastic bottle which is PET or 5 kind of plastic. For those sticky-looking gifting ones I used rubber molds for cookies. They are not shiny since I was too curious to take them out too soon Nevertheless, they work, and that is important. Resin is hard to find here, and for me it is easiest to find the finest resin from the key producers. A friend from Croatia sends me bigger resin by bus, and she gets it from ... I miss the word in english... hm... the metal production facilities I am still in search of how to supply this locally. There are some types of tea and herb oils in them, different fine-crushed minerals, shells, beach stones and quartz peaces. I am a member of Alternativa Forum where I first learned about orgone energy and started learning from a group of some great people how to make orgonites! Here is the link to our gallery http://www.alternativa-forum.com/orgon/2921-galerija-orgonita.html We are a very connected community - the same energy I feel here (as if it could be otherwise with all this orgone around us!), and are working towards networking the orgone in the Balkans.
THE FREEDOM ROAD: In "Road to Freedom" David Icke gives a keynote lecture reveals many secrets where hidden by those who govern us and manipulate. Among other things, talks about the Freemasons and the Illuminati and its relationship with many of the U.S. Presidents.
En "Camino a la Libertad" David Icke nos ofrece una magistral conferencia donde desvela numerosos secretos ocultos por aquellos que nos gobiernan y manipulan. Entre otras cosas, nos habla sobre la masonería y los iluminatis y su relación con muchos de los presidentes de EE.UU.
Special music for relaxation, meditation and healing.
Special music for relaxation, meditation and healing. Are frequencies that affect the balance and harmony of the body, restoring energy patterns. Among other tunes are Ahu Saglam, Arnica Montana and music with dolphins and whales.
Música especial para relajarse, meditar y sanar. Son frecuencias que inciden en el equilibrio y la armonía del cuerpo, restableciendo los patrones energéticos. Entre otras, se encuentran melodías de Ahu Saglam, Arnica Montana y música con delfines y ballenas.
RELAJACIÓN MÚSICA, MÚSICA RELAX, MÚSICA MEDITACIÓN, MEDITATION MUSIC, FRECUENCIAS SANADORAS, MUSICA ALTERNATIVA, MUSICA SANADORA, MUSICA PARA SANAR EL ALMA, HEALING MUSIC, MUSIC FOR HEALING,healing frequency, FREQUENCY TO HEAL, MUSICA ESPIRITUAL, SPIRITUAL MUSIC, MUSICA DELFINES, DOLPHIN MUSIC, MUSICA NEW AGE, MUSICA REIKI, MUSICA YOGA, MUSICA DE BALLENAS, RELAX MUSIC FRECUENCIAS SAGRADAS SOLFEGGIO
Have a nice day everyone.
Happy to have found you all! 
Nevertheless, they work, and that is important. 
I am still in search of how to supply this locally. 
