Taste the sweetness of life with the most beautiful art known as meditation
When you exist here as body or mind, your suffering is inevitable. Your body and mind are always subject to the forces of duality, so circumstantial aspects will rule.
As long as this is so, you being happy or unhappy, peaceful or not, is not in your control – the way you are right now depends on the situations you are in. Meditation means to transcend limitations of physical body and mind so that you exist in a state where body and mind are not deciding the quality of who you are. During meditation you are in touch with the source, the basis of your body and mind. The basis of all creation is what you are referring to as God. Body and mind are something that you gathered from outside. They are not the basis of life, they are only the surface.
A lovely metaphor with fruit.. say an orange ... The physical reality of existence is only the peel of the fruit. Only as a protective layer for the fruit, the peel has some value; not by itself. You have to feed your body, clothe it, decorate it, and pamper it in so many ways. This seems very important right now. But if that something which is the basis of your body and mind, that which you have never experienced so far, leaves this body, nobody is interested in this body anymore. The fruit is gone. Nobody is interested in the peel alone. Only because the fruit is inside, we value the peel. But right now, you have gotten so deeply involved with the peel that you have forgotten about the fruit. If you are eating the peel of life, how can life be? It has to be bitter. But the problem with the peel is, it has spots of sweetness in it. Right now, your whole life is about searching for these spots of sweetness. These spots of sweetness have come only because of the fruit. If you transcend the peel, if you go beyond the peel and taste the fruit, your life will become completely different. Physical existence is just the peel of life.
Right now, your whole experience of life is limited to the physical existence because you experience life only through your five senses. Sense organs can only experience that which is physical. They cannot experience anything beyond that.
If you want to experience something beyond the physical existence, you need to go beyond the five senses. Right now, you can only talk about God; you cannot experience God. But if you can experience the fruit beyond the peel and access that which is the source of creation, there is a possibility for you to live every moment of your life in the company of the Divine – an intelligence and competence that will make your life magical and blissful. If you do not utilise this possibility, why exist here as a human being? If we have just come here to eat, sleep, reproduce and die one day, we don’t need this kind of intelligence; we don’t need this kind of body. Once you have come here as a human being, you have come with the capability of knowing and experiencing life beyond the physical dimension. That is what meditation means – to know life beyond the limitations of the five senses (Oh my God I love this one... its like deja vu...) to know life beyond the sphere of that which is physical; to know and experience life at the source, not the surface. To live, and to live totally.
Posted by Agnes Claire MacEachern on 6 March, 2013
"I am what I am. In having faith in the beauty within me, I develop trust. In softness I have strength. In silence I walk with the gods. In peace I understand myself and the world. In conflict I walk away. In detachment I am free. In respecting all living things, I respect myself. In dedication I honour the courage within me. In eternity I have compassion for the nature of all things. In love I unconditionally accept the evolution of others. In freedom I have power. In my individuality, I express the God-Force within me. In service I give of what I have become. I am what I am: Eternal, immortal, universal, and infinite. And so be it.
I will assume for the sake of this writing, that most of us on Spiritual networks believes in some greater higher power, whatever it is that you choose to call it. Did we all require proof of God’s existence before we decided to believe in him? That is like a scientist being asked to prove to you that Air exists? Are we laughing yet? We most certainly would notice the lack of it for we wouldn’t be able to breathe and would quickly die. Air doesn’t have to disappear for us to believe in it. All we need to do is check around for its effects. There is an action. It moves the clouds across the sky, it makes leaves on the trees flutter or strands of hair whip about your face. Does it have a color so you can see it? Well, not on this plane of existence, not unless one is taking LSD maybe. I know that a God exists because this has been confirmed to me by my experiences. It is through experiences, the occurrences or actions in our life that something becomes real to us.
Now ask a woman who has a truly wonderful marriage how she can say, “I know he loves me.” If she was wise, when he told her of his love for her and wanted to marry, how did she know that he really loved her? Could she see love? It is a feeling, an emotion and as such, the purported love in his heart for her could not be viewed any more than air can be seen nor God. The this woman’s answer might be, “It was the thoughtful things he did for me; when I was not in the best mood, he didn’t take it personally and did whatever he could think of to make me laugh and lighten my mood; when I had a need to vent or just talk, he would give me his undivided attention and was really listening because he was able to comment on things I said afterward; when he had a terrible day at work, completely exhausted, he still put me first once he was off work, putting his needs last…” and her list would go on and on. Where was the proof? Not in the words, but in the actions backing the words.
Let’s try one last one. Does one need to see a ghost, a spirit guide, guardian angel or past loved one to know they are there? Some of us are able to see with our physical eyes and that’s great. I can not see anything like that with my physical eyes but I still believe. It was by actions, events that happened to me, that I knew they were there.
For example, my mother when dying of cancer was living with my youngest sister, so when she passed on in the night, my sister called to inform us all. All three sisters gathered at her place. She needed the most reassurance to know that mom was going to be okay and had asked mom to give her some kind of sign that she was alright after she passed over. I was Christian at that time and believed we had life after death but didn’t require proof as my youngest sister did. Mom was still in the hospital bed in the bedroom. We were seated at her kitchen table, when suddenly there came a tremendously loud “thump” sound from the bedroom where the deceased lay. We all jumped in shock. Before I explain what my first thought was, I need to explain that my dad used to work as a janitor at a hospital and on several occasions had to begin cleaning a room that still contained a corpse as for some reason it couldn’t be moved to the morgue yet. He told me stories as a child of air and gases in the body that were strong enough to make the body sometimes move and in one case almost sit up. That when unexpected is enough to make you pee your pants. So naturally, I thought this was what had happened and expected to see the body on the floor after having rolled off the bed which had its guard rails down.
My sisters got to the door before I and I had to peer over their shoulders when the youngest sister exclaimed, “Oh my, that wasn’t there before” On the floor in the center of the room was one of those super sized stuffed toys that you might win at the fair playing darts or tossing coins on bottles. I also knew it hadn’t been there before. But where did it come from? Her child’s unused bed was against the opposite wall from the bed where mom lay. The bed was decorated with stuffed toys. Okay, I thought, perhaps it just fell off the bed. Just as quickly as I had that thought, my sister picked it up and said, “It was sitting right here,” and placed it up against the wall in the corner. Chills went up my spine. For that stuffed toy to have made that much noise and ended up where it did, it had to be thrown onto the floor with some kind of force. Next we got to deciding what to dress her body in before the coroners came. My sisters believed it meant a lot to mom to have her body dressed as sharply as she had when alive and well. So we set about that task. We were digging in the closet for shoes to match the dress when there was a sharp rapping on the bedroom slider door that led out to a patio. The drapes were drawn but whipped open by one sister in one second while the youngest quickly slid the door open and there was no one there and no where for a person to go hide that fast anywhere nearby. “Mom is letting us know she’s okay…that was her…I know it,” the youngest sister exclaimed happily. My sister needed proof, and she got it. She could not see Mom to know she was alive but she could see the actions that proved it.
Her on again-off again boyfriend, went in to see mom one last time. He told us about this much later after getting over the shock. He’d gone in to speak last words to her deceased body. He said, “I know you worry about your daughter because she’s the only one of the three who is unmarried. I promise you right now that I will always take care of her and stay by her side.” He said he did this because he wanted to be on right terms with mom. He swears that next, her head swiveled from facing straight upward, to it’s side to face him as he finished speaking and then right back to where it had been. He thinks that was to show him that she really did witness the commitment he made. And he has stuck with that commitment to this day even though they never actually married.
Lots going on, eh, the eleventh degree seems to be emphisized this month. chiron trine saturn. time to occupy personal projections and take them back into the light so boundaries can be stretched to unity. Namaste : )
Posted by Angelica & Terence Atman on 5 March, 2013
Once a man asked God for two things - a plant, which has beautiful and colorful flowers and a butterfly to add beauty to his small potted garden. However, instead of a flowering plant, God presented him with a cactus plant and a caterpillar. The man was surprised, because he had asked for one thing and God gave him something else. But he continued to tend to it and after many days, the cactus bloomed and in the place of the caterpillar, there was a beautiful and stunning butterfly.
How many times in our impatience have we undermined our self worth, believing that we were destined to be the caterpillar and that we will never be the stunning butterfly?
The truth is that we are so much more than we can ever imagine. We were not created to be concealed in a cocoon; we were created to soar to great heights like the beautiful butterfly. Within the caterpillar, from its inception, is the butterfly. Hence, the caterpillar does not make a butterfly out of itself so much as it finds the butterfly hiding within itself. So it is with us.
Metamorphosis is not an easy process for the butterfly or for us; in fact it can be a struggle and it can feel quite painful at times. But if it weren’t for the strengthening that takes place during our struggle, we would never be able to emerge and soar like the butterfly.
The bigger the wings we are called to have, the stronger we must become.
Be patient: If you look on the outside and it appears that nothing is changing, know that the changes are happening within. Each day your wings are getting stronger and stronger so that you can fly to great heights.
Love and Blessings, Angelica and Terence www.atmans.co
Continuing from where He left off, Jesus said, “Pursuing their deranged form of happiness without realizing how mad they really are, they presume to be wise by giving all of their attention to themselves.”
Thomas said, “What will happen to this sorry lot of souls, for many are naturally against them up above and down below?”
The Savior said, “What do you believe to be right, o twin soul?”
Thomas replied, “It is not up to me to speak, Most Reverend Father. To listen to what You have to say is my constitutional duty.”
“Believe in the Truth. That which is born and that which gives birth inevitably dissolves into the vast expanse of the elemental forces only to wind up hiding in tombs of darkness. The rains, winds and lights that shines above us shall wipe away any minute trace of their terrestrial existence.”
Astonished, Thomas said, “You are capable of persuading anyone of these truths, especially us, Your disciples. But how can we repeat to a condemned world these words which are often considered to be ridiculous and of a contemptible nature?”
Summoning up His Might, Jesus said, “Whosoever receives these words with a sneering and mean face shall be given over to the lesser rulers of the heavens and shall be cast down into a narrow and dingy place within themselves. Whether turning to the North, the East, the South or the West for their salvation, death and suffering confronts their soul with every promise that is broken to the All Pervasive God of Eternity. Waiting for the day of judgement in order to be saved, foolish are they who feel they need to wait for God’s Loving Salvation.”
“Woe to you, o hopeless one, for relying on events that will never take place now or in a thousand years.”
“Woe to you, o oblivious one, for putting all of your faith in this prison like world which is often worshiped as Good as God Himself.”
"Woe to you, o fickle one, for turning the wheel that is your mind without considering the effects of surrendering to the burning fires of passion and ignorance.”
“Woe to you, o captive of the flesh, for you laugh about what is eating away at your soul of souls. Neither realizing your disastrous predicament, nor reflecting upon your life threatening motives and circumstances, you verily dwell in darkness and death! Having a backwards mind, you ignorantly believe that the poison that is offered by your enemy is indeed a good meal for the soul’s restoration. Surrendering your eternal position of freedom for serving the gods of wheat and liquor, you fill your thoughts with a darkened heart. Walking the line of servitude to matter, your whims are your kings and your jealousies are your queens.”
“Blessed are you who listen to these dire warnings and who act upon your knowledge of the stumbling blocks to Life Everlasting.”
“Blessed are you who are rejected for the Love that the Lord has for you and you alone.”
“Blessed are you who acknowledge that you are oppressed and without hope when God is absent from you and your kin, for you will be released from every known suffering.”
“Watch and pray for your soul that it not return to the flesh, for your mission is to arise from the bitterness of celestial and terrestrial bondage. Leaving this state of disgrace behind, you will rest in the Goodness of the Good One and you will be joined to Him Eternally.”
“Remember Me As I Am Brethren, and peace be unto the saintly and those who are spiritually alive with the passion of the Redeemer.”
Copyright - The Blue Cross And Shining Sunset Academy (2013) Julian Colgan
Your Words ARE Active, Alive and Very POWERFUL Ascended Master, El Morya’s Weekly Message ~ March 05 – 12, 2013 Received by, Julie Miller March 05, 2013
It is abundantly clear dearest Children of God that how you choose to express your thoughts will determine how those thoughts will be perceived. Therefore, it is crucial to always demonstrate your thoughts with as much clarity and tact as possible. It is necessary to remember all thought forms, all feelings, spoken word, written word and all actions carry energy – you are responsible for the energy you emit.
Your Loving Merciful God hears all thoughts before they are even spoken, that is because He resides within each of you – a good reason to always step forward in every interaction where communication is apparent with the purest of intent and demonstration of the love that surrounds you that stems from your loving heart.
Each day you are provided with many opportunities to demonstrate your ability to establish through speech your ability to exercise your own level of spiritual evolution and maturity through the power of your words. It is well understood that your tongue represents what is being felt through the heart, the eyes correspond with your developing mind and your arms and legs illustrate the understanding of your own Will. When you learn to balance your whole self, you thus become liberated showing all on a global scale that you have within your physical body a loving heart, a peaceful mind and strong willpower that when working together for the greatest of good has the ability to heal through uplifting words that are clear indications of following the word of God which is Love and you are stepping forward fulfilling the Will of God each time.
Comprehend dear ones that each word you think, write or speak are active and very much alive. Each word holds extreme power, and it is learning to use this power that is crucial. When you are in communication with another dear soul, by actively listening you will be able to recognize if the other person is following similar paths as yourself, you will learn some of their values and beliefs; there is much to learn from another just from a few expressed words. The necessity to learn to control your speech is one area every person that walks the spiritual path eventually learns. This focus can be met while learning of your chakras, primarily the Throat Chakra. Each chakra has important information that is vital for all spiritual development. We encourage each of you to recognize that each chakra requires balance and care that will assist your journey towards reaching new heights of spiritual growth and development. If one chakra is out of balance, it will affect the way you interact with others and has the potential of causing stagnation as all chakras are connected.
You are encouraged to understand the harm that can be done through hurtful words. Even the tone of your voice can be destructive to another who is sensitive. When you choose to use hurtful words instead of words that express love and compassion you are then moving away from the Light of God that resides within your own spiritual heart. It is important when you are expressing to one another to do so respectively demonstrating the I AM Presence that is within every man and woman. The I AM represents within each of you, God in Action. Make use of the inner alchemy, learn to hone and develop this communicative skill that illustrates compassion, understanding and best of all - LOVE. Realize dear ones, when you choose to express yourself through positive healing words you are providing a loving and stimulating environment where all can benefit and learn from. When you consciously direct your words with positive thought forms you begin discharging yourself from negative emotional discord that could have been preventing you from moving forward along your journey.
Remember dear ones God’s Word to each of you is LOVE. Love is the answer to all things, it is within all things – this love each of you are blessed with since your birth into this lifetime. With the blessings that you have been given, it is paramount to reciprocate all that goodness into well expressed words that are rich with love and compassion. We encourage each of you to include more loving and healing words throughout each interaction that involves any form of communication. Each time you choose uplifting healing and loving words you are strengthening your harmony and synchronicity within the Universe. We see more often than not many dear souls that become discouraged when another person or persons have said something harmful. Words have the ability to be sharp as knives. Once a word is expressed it cannot be retracted, the harm is already done.
Try to always remember the importance of utilizing positive words within all your methods of communication. Learning self-control over your speech brings many rewards that you yourself will reap as well as those you communicate with. When you are able to bring forth good uplifting words into all the company you keep you will discover happiness flow into your life, lifting your own spirits because how your actions also provides more Love and Light from God to be present within your heart.
We do not wish to see any of you moving away from your own Light because you choose to indulge in harmful and hurtful forms of speech and use of negative words. Each of you have the intelligence to choose differently; choices that are based on love draw people closer to you rather than away. Always strive to add more Light and Love to the energy that surrounds you through the intelligent use of your words which are gifts for each of you to make loving use of.
It is only natural to come across those along your journey that hold different belief systems than you do. Each person you meet has something relevant to offer. Even if what they follow and feel does not fit with how you think and feel, you have the opportunity then to thank them for what they have given of themselves instead of breaking them with ill choice words. If you can remember dear ones that your speech holds the Infinite Light and Love of God, then that should encourage you to always demonstrate the I AM Presence that is within all of you in all your activities and interactions.
Each day you have many choices to make and one of those choices is speaking wisely, consciously and carefully. Because Love is involved in all things, Love is to be included when you speak as well. You are reminded dear ones that words that come off your tongue are considered to be sacred, and what you speak represents YOU. There are many within the Divine Realm that can assist you upon your journey and help you curb your biting tongue and I am one that would be delighted to aid in your development. As we guide you through our loving support and energy to newer ways of being, realize dear ones you are still the ones making the decisions; therefore you are reminded of your responsibility to the energy your spoken words, written words, actions, thoughts and feelings carry.
It is in your human nature to help others through your compassion and goodness. Many that have walked the Spiritual Path have learned that the more good they do, the more often our Merciful God will speak to them in ways that is understandable to them. Pure good-natured kindness that is not filled any amount of maliciousness allows both your heart and soul to remain opened to Light and Love giving energies that come from your Heavenly Father in order for you to rejoice and embrace in your own heart stream of loving light. It is essential to remain good to yourself as you meander through your journey. And this alone can be difficult especially when you are faced with demanding situations. When you are able to greet each challenge with a positive mind-set, then your progression is much easier dear ones and when all is done your energy is not so depleted.
Learn to manifest Goodness by being good to yourself, to others and to God. When you deliberately set out to do good, compassionate things you are helping to change the world around you and mankind on a global scale. Each person has this ability – to raise loving vibrations throughout the world and it is as easy as changing the way you speak, think, feel and act. Of course it does require discipline and the want to change, but anything that you really want to do will be accomplished because the effort and focus you are applying is derived from pure unconditional love.
When you are able to see your Heavenly Father in all your words, then you know you are helping to create more Light and supportive Love for all. When you are able to successfully move yourself from participating in negative speech you will discover so much more open to you for you to explore that your heart and soul will meld together creating satisfaction that is fulfilling and rewarding in itself.
Each step you take dear ones provides you with many opportunities to correct, change and let go of many areas within your Self. There is much to gain from each other when you choose to listen. Serenity will become your companion as your understanding of others expands. Learn dear ones what it is you wish to achieve, not just from your journey but from yourself – when you go within in order to discover your real self strive to face any imbalances or faults…make the necessary corrections to bring balance back into your whole being. Learn to become the Master of your speech, discover the use of using words that provide love and comfort that are natural and powerful. There is more wisdom gained when you choose to not judge or provide biased based opinions – silence has always been considered to be a golden attribute.
It is good to remember that God is Love and the foundation of love is found within your heart and through your loving heart you will discover the truth of your real self and this discovery occurs when you finally stop running, you slow down and allow the loving flow of God’s Love to envelope your whole self – your mind, soul and heart opens in full trust and faith within the Brilliance of God’s unwavering Light. Through this Divine Light and Love you realize you no longer wish to be speak through negative words or act in negative ways – you consciously choose to be more loving, compassionate, patient, tolerant, charitable and more forgiving. Change does not occur over-night. We will work with you; we will support and guide you to new choices. Become acquainted with your I AM Presence dear ones, and be God in Action each and every time.
I AM Ascended Master, El Morya through Julie Miller
SEEKING IS NOT THE WAY TO FIND GOD. If you want to find him, stop seeking, and find. Stop seeking, and he is found immediately, instantly -- not even a single moment is lost.
Why? Because in the very effort of seeking him you are forgetting one thing, THAT HE IS ALREADY IN YOU. The sought is in the seeker -- but the seeker cannot see it, he is engrossed too much in his seeking. He is running after it, he is searching for it -- his search keeps him so occupied, so engaged, that he cannot look inside and see who is there.
GOD IS ALREADY IN YOU. God is already the case. Just stop seeking. And that is the greatest message of Zen: STOP SEEKING! "Sitting silently, doing nothing, the spring comes and the grass grows by itself."
ZEN DOES NOT GIVE YOU ANY SEEKING, it takes all seeking away from you. Seekers are the losers! --because in their very search they go on looking at distant lands. They go on looking at stars -- they don't look within themselves.
And do you know? There is an ancient parable:
IN THE BEGINNING WHEN GOD CREATED THE WORLD, he used to live on the empty road. But then he became tired because people were continuously nagging him. In the middle of the night, the phone will start ringing... and complaints: "And why have you not done this? And why have you done that? What is the reason of it?"
Naturally, he got tired.
So he asked his counselors, "Help me. I would like to go somewhere and hide from people." He confessed that in creating man, "I have created my greatest mistake."
Do you know that since then he has not created anything else? He is still repenting. That was his last creation. HE BECAME SO AFRAID OF MAN THAT HE STOPPED BEING A CREATOR.
They suggested, "You can go to the Himalayas, nobody will come there."
He said, "You don't know. Just within a few seconds..." -- and millions of light-years are just a few seconds for God. To one who lives in eternity, a different time scale exists, and millions of light-years are just moments. He said, "A man will reach there and another, and they will reach on the Everest and they will find me. And once they have found me, people will start coming... so that won't help."
Somebody suggested, "Then why don't you go to the moon?" He said, "Just not even few seconds more and people will reach there. They are going to reach everywhere!"
Then an old adviser came close to him, whispered something in his ear. And he was very happy, and he said, "This is the right thing to do!" The man had whispered, "My suggestion is: WHY DON'T YOU HIDE IN MAN HIMSELF? There he will never go! He will go to the mountains, he will go to the Everest, he will go to the moon and to the Mars, he will go to the planets and stars, he will go everywhere. One thing that he will never suspect is that you will be hiding in his own soul."
God agreed, and since then he has been hiding in you!
AND YOU HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR HIM on the Everest, on the moon, on the stars, in the scriptures, in the temples, in the mosques, in the churches. GO ON SEARCHING AND YOU WILL NOT FIND HIM. A seeker never finds. Seeking is a sure way of missing.
THEN WHO FINDS HIM? One who relaxes, one who drops all seeking, just dives deep into one's own being -- sits there silently, starts moving towards the bottom, to the very ground of one's own being.
SITTING IN YOUR DEEPEST CORE, YOU FIND HIM. There is no need to go anywhere.
He is not out there. HE IS YOUR INNERMOST CORE. He is the beat of your heart and the vitality of your breath and the redness of your blood. He is the pulsation of your being.
I TEACH YOU THE WAY OF NON-SEEKING, I teach you to relax. I teach you to forget all about God and just be yourself.
And one day, suddenly, like a great surprise, THE BENEDICTION.
OSHO Take It Easy Vol 2, Ch #4: The flight of the alone to the alone am in Buddha Hall
In my first marriage of almost 30 years, I stayed with him for many reasons. As a scorpio one of the traits is being very loyal. And loyal and supportive and loving I was. I did not receive the same treatment in return. But I had hope, I was a Christian then and believed couples shouldn’t divorce but trust God to heal a marriage and bring about the changes I so desired to see in my husband. Sadly, any attempts on his part lasted days, weeks, maybe a month before returning to being verbally abusive.
In those times, it didn’t occur to me how “free will” fit into this. God could not force my partner to change because he had free will. He might not change in this lifetime for all I knew. I only looked at how to make it through one day at a time and when yelled at or belittled by the husband, I spoke to the Holy Spirit and wanted to know if there really was something I had done wrong that I needed to work on changing. I was always given love and encouraging words such as “I am pleased with you,” or “You have done nothing wrong my dear”. It finally hit me that we were very out of balance, that both individuals need to be making an equal effort to the relationship, not just one or it won’t work. And that is when I created this quote:
“Happily ever after doesn’t happen just because we wish it so. It only happens when both parties put in maximum effort to make it so.”
What I still did not know at that time which my new husband has explained to me, is that when a lesser spiritually evolved person isn’t making any progress in the situation they are in, be it work or relationship, their situation needs to change. In order for their situation to change, something must first be removed from their life, such as the job, or the girlfriend or wife. With a job, you can’t decide to stay if you are let go or fired. In a marriage it’s quite different. He had no desire to divorce, I had already mentioned that we should consider it. In a situation like that, if they don’t part ways, or the wife doesn’t take the initiative to leave, then she will be taken out in death for the sake of the individual who needs a change where they will be forced in a way to face what they must learn.
I did not know this back then. So God had to do something because being the loyal type I am, I would’ve stayed no matter what. One day out of the blue, God spoke, “If you do not leave this relationship, you will be dead in 4 years.” Boy did that get my attention! Instinct for survival popped up. I waited one year though for my middle daughter at least to complete high school without the emotional baggage of what was happening at home affecting her grades. I looked into what I could afford for a place of my own. I didn’t want the house…too many bad memories. I asked around with everyone I knew, even co-workers but no one had a spare room or basement rec-room where I could live and pay some rent. I checked for help with agencies that help abused women. There is no help for the emotionally abused, only those whose scars show on the outside. Finally friends out of state said I could come live with them.
Through this rough time, I caught flack from some people who did not really know me well enough to make such an assumption but I was told many times that I was being selfish. Wasn’t I thinking of my daughters? It hurt and I battled with thoughts of, “Am I really selfish?” “If I stay for the daughters sake, then in the end, I will die.” And due to that, the levels of my anxieties rose along with the blood pressure. I could feel the blood pounding away with adrenaline too. My feeling of being trapped rose. I finally had to talk to some close friends and they told me that it is not selfish to love myself enough to take care of me first. That is finally when God reminded me of a bible scripture verse:
Mark 12:30-31 New International Version (NIV)
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[a] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
I know that I like many others see 'neighbor mentioned before self in the sentence but when really paying attention to what is being said. The 'as yourself' part means that one has to be able to love oneself before love can flow from him/her. I finally got it!
I made one last attempt to persuade my youngest daughter to come with me. She did not want to leave her school, her friends and her pets. Amidst tearful goodbyes, I explained to my daughters why I was leaving. I told them that the marriage was not working. It wasn’t healthy for me and that God had told me that if I did not leave, I would be dead in 4 years and at this point I had only 3 years left. I told them that I knew I was not being selfish, that I was also doing this for them! I told them I wanted to be alive and around to see them married and attend their wedding, and be alive to hold and play with my grandchildren. My oldest was already married.
I left and was gone 11 months before I returned to live with my eldest who was expecting a child and needed me for end of pregnancy and the birth while her husband was deployed in Navy. All three daughters remarked to me that they saw how much happier a person I was. And still now 6 years later, they can see that their dad has not grown any spiritually or otherwise. He has a girlfriend but they witness him treating her as bad or worse than he did me. They realize now that I did the right thing in leaving him.
its coming again the sickness that slithers so well into my cold bones i dont understand this life this vehicle this pain the dialogue between my heart is so tiresome as it battles with my head tiresome: dichotomies/fears//hate.walls+++masks—||——»> the madness. pushpull pullpush we all want love. so blindly, i handed it to you on a pretty little platter i even made a copy of the keys that fit into my heart you wanted power you wanted love you had it you conquered me you were terrified you took my love platter devoured the FUCK out of it like an all you can eat buffet you enjoyed every minute of it then went home and puked me up grotesque alien fetus’s i hope you enjoyed yourself. it was (real) now i am broken congratulations. you succeeded again eyes shut walls up if only yours could’ve opened
THE FREEDOM ROAD: In "Road to Freedom" David Icke gives a keynote lecture reveals many secrets where hidden by those who govern us and manipulate. Among other things, talks about the Freemasons and the Illuminati and its relationship with many of the U.S. Presidents.
En "Camino a la Libertad" David Icke nos ofrece una magistral conferencia donde desvela numerosos secretos ocultos por aquellos que nos gobiernan y manipulan. Entre otras cosas, nos habla sobre la masonería y los iluminatis y su relación con muchos de los presidentes de EE.UU.
Special music for relaxation, meditation and healing.
Special music for relaxation, meditation and healing. Are frequencies that affect the balance and harmony of the body, restoring energy patterns. Among other tunes are Ahu Saglam, Arnica Montana and music with dolphins and whales.
Música especial para relajarse, meditar y sanar. Son frecuencias que inciden en el equilibrio y la armonía del cuerpo, restableciendo los patrones energéticos. Entre otras, se encuentran melodías de Ahu Saglam, Arnica Montana y música con delfines y ballenas.
RELAJACIÓN MÚSICA, MÚSICA RELAX, MÚSICA MEDITACIÓN, MEDITATION MUSIC, FRECUENCIAS SANADORAS, MUSICA ALTERNATIVA, MUSICA SANADORA, MUSICA PARA SANAR EL ALMA, HEALING MUSIC, MUSIC FOR HEALING,healing frequency, FREQUENCY TO HEAL, MUSICA ESPIRITUAL, SPIRITUAL MUSIC, MUSICA DELFINES, DOLPHIN MUSIC, MUSICA NEW AGE, MUSICA REIKI, MUSICA YOGA, MUSICA DE BALLENAS, RELAX MUSIC FRECUENCIAS SAGRADAS SOLFEGGIO
I know that a God exists because this has been confirmed to me by my experiences. It is through experiences, the occurrences or actions in our life that something becomes real to us. 
